CJOnline - Festival gives taste of cuisine, religion

Go read CJOnline - Festival gives taste of cuisine, religion in which, apropo of nothing, I reveal to the world the ancient secrets of our mystery cult.

can we just make it a celebration of me?

"David, at 4:00, Alexander and Sebastian are having a birthday party."

"Can we have cake how about vanilla ice cream can we put candles on the cake and put fire on the candles?"

ministeps

A friend mine bought a new Mini Cooper that arrived last weekend. I assume they spent the weekend just driving around. I know when I got each of my bikes, I took every oportunity to just go ride it. It's like first having your driver's licence--just gotta go. Well, Simon got his licence to walk last week and he has just got to go, too.

At first it was like he was possessed in some sort of trance. He had been taking a significant number of steps for a couple of weeks, but if he really needed to get anywhere, he would drop and crawl. He can crawl as fast as a Mini Cooper. But, suddenly, last weekend, he just started walking and walking and walking with no purpose, from one corn of the house to the other. The first day it stagger four-or-five steps, teeter, fall, get up, stagger. His stance was wide, his legs unbending, his arms akimbo like some Frankenstein monster cowboy. Each day he could go further and further without tumbling until he could basically walk a straight line over flat ground without a problem. Eventually, he got better on uneven ground and can sometimes change direction without toppling. Today, he walked to me on the sidewalk in front of Ninas--a sidewalk that more resembles a recently-collapsed building.

But, now that he has mastered the skill, is over it. Sometimes he walks, sometimes he crawls. No big deal. It just depends.

He still is not eating significantly. But there is improvement there. Each week he chokes a little less frequently and we get bolder with our solid food experiementing. I assume that something will click in the arena, too, and he'll suddenly want to devour every solid thing he can get his hands on.

Later, Minifans

Besides

With David's charm, charisma, and dashing looks he could focus his enthusiasm for football into a highly profitable and physically safe career as a sports broadcaster.

Mom's always have the last word

I just saw an X-ray of a boy's arm with a break which allowed the bones to overlap by an inch. This injury occurred whilst playing football.

Did I mention, An Inch.

From this moment forward the only sports my lovely angelic boys are allowed to play are:
Golf
Underwater Basket Weaving
Competitive Knitting
Air Hockey
Horse Shoes
and
Speed Walking

The Mother has spoken.

the fightin' miters

TEXT MESSAGE

I am working 2 football games 2day &wont get 2 start watching K-State ku until late. So, if U text me during the game i won't read it until after i'm done. GO CATS.

Dad-cell
Msg stored at: OCT 6, 8:40 am

TEXT MESSAGE

Whatever

Msg Delivered at: Oct 6, 8:41 am

TEXT MESSAGE

U might as wellget used 2 it, David already likeS it & Simon won't B far behind. Warms the cockles of my heart.

Dad-cell
Msg stored at: OCT 6, 8:44am

The man speaks the truth. Dad referees high school football. Last Friday night Grandpa, David, and I drove to Solomon to watch him referee an American Football match between the Fighin' Solomon Gorillas and the Fightin' (and winnin') Frankfurt Wildcats. Interesting thing: they have seating for fans of the home team and for fans of the visitors, but not for fans of the referees. I really didn't expect David to catch much of what was going on during the game but he surprised me. After the first completed pass (and tackle), he turned to me with a look of pure delight on his face and exclaimed, "He caught the ball and the knocked him down!" Later, he described a scuffle at the last ten yards from the end-zone with similar glee: "They're fighting!"

But dad might not have hit the mark with Simon. Saturday, while the rest of the state was driving west to Manhattan, we headed East to Kansas City to celebrate the 90th anniversary of the church in which Jaime and I were married. On the way, David asked out of the blue if Simon would get married when he grew up. I said that I hope so; that he either marry or take monastic vows. Turns out, this was a prophetic conversation. Later that day Simon cinched the decision by crawling to the middle of the nave and picked up the orlet--a small circular rug that the bishop stands on--declaring his intentions as far as I am concerned. How does that relate to football? Well, bishops are busy on Sundays, which in the world of TiVO is probably not the impediment that is used to be, but we can hope, can't we?

later, hierarchical fans

great books to the rescue.

How I want to education my children

And why

79 out of 79.14159

Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine is my favorite new read. Thanks to "Touchstone's" Mere Comments for the 411.

mean kids

I have always encouraged David to be friendly and outgoing. Either because of this or because he inhereted his mother's natural social exuberance, he is able to hold is own well in social situations. He is conversational and friendly with just about anyone regardless of age. I remember when he first got his tricycle last year an we were walking/riding down the sidewalk when a neighborhood boy who is a couple of years older planted himself in the middle of the sidewalk, stopping David. Enthusiastically the boy said, "I have a Spiderman scooter in my basement."

There was a pause just long enough for me to wonder to myself how David would respond to this aggressive friendliness, then he replied with equal enthusiasm, "wow!"

On the playground, I encourage him to play with other kids and if he does strike up a playground friendship, I have taught him how to introduce himself and ask the name of his playmate.

Here is my question: doesn't anyone else do this?

Many times lately I have watched out the door at a scene where David approaches a group of neighborhood kids, all of whom are either a bit older or a bit younger than David, only to be ignored at best if not treated rudely. This evening he was playing outside as I finished feeding Simon. I went to check on him. He was outside among several people. One group was Christopher, who is a year younger, with his mom. They were leaving and David was tagging along trying to strike up a conversation--probably about Buzz Lightyear. Christopher's mother was ignoring David and Christopher was simply an oblivious two-year-old. I kept thinking to myself, why doesn't she stop and help Christopher say hi to David and explain that they are leaving and that he hopes they can play later? Shortly David turned to some older boys were wrestling. He was doing that hesitant step-hop thing that someone on the outside of a social circle does as they try to interject themselves into that circle. Fortunately, one of the boys was the only socially competent child in our neighborhood--the same one with the Spiderman scooter, if memory serves. He interacted with David, sorta. He held his friend in a a full nelson and let David hit him in the stomach. It's something.

The real problem here is that, when I see David rebuffed by these kids (and their parents), I am actually seeing myself. For reasons that I have never satisfactorily determined, I was socially incompetent as child. Typically, I was picked on teased, and excluded. These are of course memories of an eight-to-twelve-year-old, not a three year old. And they are memories that I long ago deactivated in favor of the present reality in which I am quite the man about town. But when I see David treated this way, those feeling rush back. I am heartbroken and even feel a little of the shame that plagued me as a child that somehow it was my fault that other kids were mean--that maybe they were right and I was unworthy of their attention. It floods back in an instant and for an instant and my heart breaks.

I have no idea how David feels about this. Not having my life experience, I assume that he does not share my feelings. There is evidence to suggest that he is sometimes hurt. One time Christopher was rude to him out of simple two-year-old orneriness and the look on David's face was crestfallen. Other times, he seem oblivious, like when Cody, a five-year-old with anger issues, was berating him so strongly that I almost intervened just as his dad stepped in. David seemed oblivious to this. He just wanted to see Cody's new bike. But he is not going to be oblivious forever. I keep watching because I know that sometime soon, it is going to sink in. He is going to get really hurt by the way these kids treat him and then he is going to dish it right back out. He is going to be mean to Christopher or to some other new kid who moves in. Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe that this behavior has to be learned, it is the default mode--especially for children. I just wish I could see more parents trying to teach their kids a different mode.

saint joachim

A joke:

While flying him back to his homeland to visit his mother, Themios Papadopoulos' plane crashes in the sea. Themeos, the only survivor, washes up on the shores of a small deserted island. Thanking God for his life and seeing that he may be stranded for awhile, he sets to building a church for himself as well as procuring means of survival. He is stranded for quite a long time until one day a ship spots his distress fire and sends a rescuer to the island on a life raft. When the rescuer arrives he observes that there are two buildings on just back from the beach. He asks Themeos what they are.
"They are churches," the castaway replies. "Orthodox Churches."
"But why are there two of them?" the newcomer asks.
"Because," George says loudly, pointing at one of the buildings, "that is the Church I go to, and," thrusting his finger angrily at the other, "that is the Church I don't go to."

Maybe three people reading this will get that. Maybe fewer.

I have decided that we need to open a second Orthodox Church in Topeka. Then, David needs to go to that one. Our expectations of him are pretty minimal--try to be minimally disruptive. But sometimes, he is simply unable to do that. This is most apparent when both Jaime and I are with him. He jumps around, crawls around, dances around, plays around and generally does everything to get our attention.

But lately, I have been serving in the altar. We have developed a pattern like this. David and I go to church around 9:00. I serve in the altar and he is supervised by whomever might be closest until Sunday School starts. By the time Sunday School is over and Liturgy begins, Mom has arrived. For the time that he alone, is an angel. He is quiet and still.

This last Sunday, Jaime and Simon were under the weather, so it was just David and I. He went to Sunday school during matins and then was up in the nave by himself during all of liturgy. I expected this to be too much and was prepared come some stand in the nave with him. But during the first half of Liturgy, I observed him standing still and silent next to Sarah, his 13-year-old girlfriend who sings in the choir. During the latter half, he was not quite so perfect, but did better than one could reasonably expect of a 3.5-year-old on his own.

So, clearly, he is ready to take his place in society and Jaime and I are just distractions. We need to open a sister church and he can go there. This weekend, I'll say something good or bad about the Patriarch and plant the seeds for our division.

later, Greek fans.

simon's birth

I was cleaning out some files on my computer when I came across a text document containing a blog post about Simon's birth that I never posted. So, I posted it to its proper spot back in August 06.

Go read "he's here!"

so, who are these boys that we live with nowadays?

So, who are these boys that we live with nowadays?

Well, David begins talking the moment he gets out of bed and stops sometime after he goes to sleep. He still loves cantaloupe, but won't each much more then that. I assume that, generally, he behaves like a three-year-old ought to, but I honestly don't know. He continually alternates between a cooperative, thoughtful, conversational little boy and a howling banshee. He is pretty much potty trained--we have to remind him to go, but he no longer goes to the bathroom anywhere other than the toilet.

While he loves nothing more then Buzz Lightyear and Lightening McQueen, he still has room in his heart for many good books including Where the Wild Things Are, pretty much anything by Dr. Seuss--especially How the Grinch Stole Christmas, anything about Church, and many others. semi-monthly visits to the library are a must.

He is jealous of Simon--more so now than before. But he also wants Simon to be someone with whom he can wrestle and play roughly (this is his primary way of playing) and so he ends up pestering his little brother until the baby screams and a time out is in order. Right now, Grandpa Gib is feeding Simon yogurt and David is loudly doing everything he can to distract them.

I've come to really cherish the few moments that David and I get alone. He is old enough now to be interested in exploring the world and he is delight to converse with on all manner of topics. He loves to run and play and wrestle and hit t-balls. He is turning into a boy and I am surprised how much I am looking forward to teaching him to be a boy.

Simon is tall and lean. Very suddenly, last week, be began babbling almost constantly (except when prompted to) while saying nothing. The only actual words he knows are "hi," "dada," "mama," "Nina." When I come home from work he smiles and says "Hi, dada!" and throws his arms open to me. He can, and will, walk four-or-five steps at a time. He loves exploring everything he can. He spent 15 solid quiet minutes the other day examining the straps on Davids booster seat.

He will eat only yogurt voluntarily. He will eat other baby foods if we put them in a bowl and give him a spoon of his own and then feed him with a second spoon while he also feeds himself. But when he is done, he is DONE and don't question it. He goes from zero to furious in an blink. I do not look forward to his stubborn temper when he is three.

What he still will not eat is real solid food. Anything with more texture than applesauce is of no interest. Until a few weeks ago he would frequently gag on solids. Now, he just sucks on them and spits them out. We are going to have a specialist examine him to see if there is really a problem or if he is just putting it off until he gets something really good.

Climbing is his true love. I put him in his high chair yesterday, walked across the kitchen and looked back to find him on all fours on top of his tray. He climbs up the couch, up the stairs up David's recliner. He can climb the plastic "rock wall" step/ladder toy in Holliday Park. He watches David constantly and imitates him. If David leaves one of his toys laying about and Simon gets a hold of it, he will begin playing with it exactly as David does.

I cherish the few moments alone I get with Simon. He laughs and snuggles and chases. Every so often he will just reach his arms across me and lay his head on my shoulder. Sometimes, while crawling, he will suddenly stop and lay down flat on his tummy with his head turned and his arms outspread.

I also cherish the moments the three of us can just be together playing. I can usually coerce both boys into a cooperative game of rolling a ball from one to the other. Or we'll go for a walk with David on his trike and Simon in the stroller watching David and giggling as he zooms by, a blur of red and feet and energy.

simmons' summer fun

Mom and Alex took some great photos of the kiddos this summer and sent them to me. View them as a set here.

manifesto

defective yeti links to this manifesto and heated discussion against the use of nuts in certain foods. It is hilarious and when I mentioned it to Jaime, she suggested I compose my own manifesto against fruit and chocolate. Great idea. Here it goes:

"Don't combine fruit and chocolate. It's disgusting."

There.

Need some clarification? Don't dip fruits in chocolate. Don't put fruit in chocolate candy or cake. Don't combine fruit-flavored things with chocolate flavored things.

Don't get me wrong (well, you can if you want, I don't care), I love fruit and I'm so into chocolate that I may have to have estrogen therapy in my post-middle-age years. But the two of them together are gross. The best analogue I can think of is Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Both are good actors who have done some lovely work separately. Together, they are a disaster--three movies that should be purged from our collective cultural consciousness. The one exception I can think of is the banana. Bananas are tolerable with chocolate--especially if ice cream is involved. Bananas and chocolate are like "Joe Versus the Volcano--" Acceptable in certain circumstances.

But that is it.

I love nuts in just about anything, though. I'll eat nuts with fruit, nuts with chocolate, but not fruit, nuts, and chocolate--unless the fruit is a banana, and there is ice cream involved. I know what you are thinking--"what do you do with the fudge and fruit toppings in a banana split?" Well, I haven't had a banana split in about 25 years, but I recall it takes some work to avoid the parts where the fruit and fudge toppings mix. Frankly, if I ordered one now, I would simply forgo the fudge altogether. Ice cream, strawberries, pineapple, and the cherry (not to mention, the nuts) are reward enough to put off chocolate until I'm done and have cleansed my palate.

The Curt Jester: New liturgical position

The Curt Jester: New liturgical position

i hope i get listed in the screenplay credits.

The real meat of this post is in the comments--specifically, the second comment.

ORTHODIXIE ... Southern, Orthodox, Convert, Etc.: Nicholson, Hanks, Stiller & Huneycutt?

not yet

David is pictured on a bicycle given to us by a friend of Jaime. Unfortunately, he is simply too small for it right now. This is compounded by the fact that he cannot, in a pinch, remember how to brake. So we find him careening down a hill on a bike that is too heavy for him to control, which he cannot stop. There is a smaller-sized bike for tots, but I see general problems with that as well. Three-year-olds don't have a great sense of balance so anything that perches them a couple of feet above the ground is going to have to have training wheels, which seem to make the whole thing pointless. Riders can't lean in to a curve with them giving them the turning radius of a Mack truck. Also, if the rider does lean, the training wheel causes the rear wheel to lift off of the ground. If he is leaning because he is trying to get up a hill, then the whole thng stops.

When did the preschool set move to bicycles? What happened to the Big Wheel? This was my ride of choice until I was old enought to balance on a bike unaided by training wheels. It was fast, cool, and didn't tip over unless I really really wanted it to. I don't see the kids these days riding them, but I think it is what David needs if he wants to roll.

a few thousand words

how not to talk to my kids

Please, don't talk to my kids until you have read this.