daily mumps

There must be something in the water in Salt Lake City. The Daily Mumps: way funnier than DJJ.

everest er

Here is an interesting article about Dr. Luanne Freer, president of the society whose business I manage.

then, in a jealous rage, jason moves the family to new york.

From From Daddy Types: "between MoMA and the Met, there's plenty of great Van Gogh for the kid to see F2F. And ID'ing body parts in the Rodin gallery is always fun, as is watching other peoples' faces when your kid says 'That's Rodin.'"

mommy down

-Mommy down!
-How do you ask nicely?
-May I have a mommy down, pweas?
-Say "may"
-I
-Get
-Mommy down pweas
-ok
-noooooo, MOMMY down!

a million little posts

Recent reports in the news compel me to address certain concerns that you may have with the truthfulness of what you read on this Web site.

I assure you that I make every attempt report all of the events herein truthfully and accurately. I suppose you could say I do occasionally embellish some details in order to add to the narrative quality. Some names and details are changed to protect the innocent. I have gone to some effort to eliminate corroborating evidence so as to maintain a certain "wall" of privacy.

But None of the facts reported herein are "fabricated"--I did bellow at the boy. Well, sorta. "David" is not, technically, my son. I suppose, if I were going to be totally open about it, "David" is actually my hampster. Specifically a hampster I had as a child. And, in the interest of full disclosure, "Jaime" is not, technically, my wife, although I am sure I have met someone named Jaime and I am sure that she is somebody's wife.

But, really this blog isn't really about "David" and "Jaime" and "Jason" in a literal sense. Rather, this blog is about the struggle we are all engaged in to love, have relationships, overcome life's difficulties, and find humor and peace. The rest, with all the silly "facts" and "details" is just, well, details. Details that should not be allowed to obscure the overall "truthfulness" of this blog.

I have called this a "blog" from the beginning, and I maintain that. Should Oprah come, a callin', however, I am out.

great photo

I consider this to be one of the best 100 photographs ever captured. It's worthy of Bresson himself. I happened to find this book at B&N for $7.00 the other day. I recognized it because ExhibitsUSA was going to tour an exhibition of the images when I worked for them. I don't think tour ever happened though--lack of demand. Pity. It had some great images. Pity also that you can't see the image larger on your screen. I got to see a very nice, large print of it--even better than in the book. Anyway, enjoy the site, it's got lots of great stuff.

w'ak a' nikki an' cahyin

-Come on, David, it's time to go.
-Hold hand. G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step] G'bye papa! [step]. Wa'k
-Yes, we are walking.
-Wa'k a'Nikki's
-Yes, David, we are walking to Nikki's
-Wa'k. . . wa'k. . . wa'k. . . Big truck! Big truck, daddy, big truck! Wa'k a'Nikkin an Collin. Puppies! Puppies! Puppies! Cahyin!
-Goodbye David
-Ga'bye daddy! Ga'bye daddy!

and once I did get to sleep, I had many freaky dreams

So, I'm feeling lousy at about 5:00 yesterday evening and am faced with this dilemma: NyQuil or DayQuil. Should I risk being sleepy and therefore grumpy for the next three or four hours before I go to bed, or should I risk lying in bed awake and buzzing until midnight? I decided that the risk of being kept awake by DayQuil was minimal and was outweighed by the risk of bellowing at my wife and child (satisfying though it may be). So I decided on DayQuil. Jaime put David to bed two hours later. I went to be two hours after that. At around midnight, I decided that I had made the wrong decision.

today, i bellowed

I discovered a new disciplinary technique today--yelling at the top of my lungs. Wow, that is some powerful stuff. David is more-or-less getting over being sick but he still has a cough. Jaime and I, on the other hand, have heads more full of snot than anything else. Jaime is nauseous to boot. So we are way low energy. Way. Low. David, however, has movement and mischief to make up for, so he has dispensed with listening to me at all. For awhile, I was content with establishing reasonable boundaries and disciplining him when he crosses them. By the end of the day, however, I decided it would be easier to just scream.

And it worked.

Try it sometime. Sneak up on someone who is not expecting it, someone whom you don't normally yell at, someone who is ignoring you and who is yelling loudly about your attempts to enforce reasonable boundaries. Just bellow at him like a stuck walrus.

Shuts him right up, let me tell you.

peaceful evening

Last night, I sat on the couch with David in my lap. He had his puzzles spread out over my legs and sat quietly and contentedly, leaning against my chest, playing with the dinosaurs, domestic animals, and modes of transportation. I divided my attention between running a motorcycle up his arm and reading my book. Jaime sat at the other end of the couch reading her book. It was a picture family bliss.

You guessed it, David is sick. He woke up from a short nap with a gurgly tummy, threw up during a bicycle ride, and developed a fever. He alternatively slept and sat around all afternoon and evening, sad and lethargic. It was a pitiful site.

I, too, was under the weather after an earlier incident involving the planet Earth ripping my bike out from under me and slamming itself against my ribs. Stupid planet.

So we just sat quietly on the couch.

Then, David threw up on me.

sleepy hobby

David has skipped his nap four days in a row. By the time I get home, he is completely delirious--unable to decide whether to cry or laugh at any particular moment. So is Jaime. Last night, I took him to the library. The change of environment, lower stimulation, and big open spaces calmed him down a bit. As long as he didn't touch the books, I let him wander about and more or less decide our agenda (I know that sounds silly, not touching books in a library, but our library is a post-literate institution with a great deal of non-book-related space). In the art gallery, he identified things like "tree," "horse," "abstracted representation of the artist's subconscious fear of his mother," etc.. More enjoyable was laying on the bench and commanding me to alternately sit down and stand up over and over again.

His other new sleep-related hobby is waking in the middle of the night and crying loudly for his mother.

Tales of Christmas 2005

Over the next week or so I hope to post all the little stories of our adventures in Colorado.

Episode One: KCI

By the end of a long semester David and I were ready for some R&R. The day we headed out to the airport I made sure to wear my back brace to avoid excess pain while airport hopping. Had I known this would be my downfall before I even left Kansas I would have left it behind.

As David and I began to make our way through the security check I was informed to unpack my carry-on because I had a video camera in the bag. Slight increase in blood pressure because I had meticulously packed the bag and all the food was on top. So, with a line of people behind me, out comes the food, camera, off with the shoes and belt, and out comes David from the stroller so they can x-ray all of it. Maybe now would be a good time to mention that I am traveling alone and I now have a 21mo old child running loose.

I send David through the metal detector first and he passes. As I go through the alarm goes off. No problem, go through again. Alarm again. Now I start getting suspicious looks from the security twits.

They asked me to step aside and stand in the circle while they "wand" me. At this point I tell them it's probably my back brace which has set off the alarm and I'm more than willing to take it off to show it to them. At one point I pick David up because he is running wild and they snap at me because I just "contaminated" him. Everyone in this audience knows that happened a long time ago but by this point I am really getting steamed.

Nobody offers to help with David while I put up with the examination. Nobody offers to help as I dash to clothe myself and re-pack the carry-on. Nobody offers to help extract David from behind the security x-ray line.

Finally we get on the plane and as fate would have it I get placed right behind a not so understanding older gentleman. This was normally the time of day David runs and plays so asking him to hold perfectly still on a plane was pushing my luck, which obviously ran out before the day really got started.

The flight was pretty packed but I thought I saw some seats empty towards the front so I asked the attendant if David and I could move so he could have his own seat. I was mistaken and there was only one seat open, surrounded by older individuals, so I figured there really was no point. The attendant asked if I would like her to mention moving to the man I was annoying. I figured he would take that as an insult so I almost begged her not to say anything. She didn't listen and after he got done refusing to move I distinctly heard him say "why the hell should I have to move just cuz she can't control her son". After that I had thoughts of giving David a good shake and throwing him into the man's lap for the rest of the trip to see what kind of luck he had "controlling" a 21mo old on a plane.

To be continued..........

chucky sushi

Jaime tried sushi tonight for the first time ever and Skylar got to be there. She compared it to being there when Jaime gave birth to her first child. I missed something in the comparison but I was distracted by the wasabi.

Apearantly, Skylar took David to Chucky Cheese today--one of those black holes of frenetic child-oriented noise mascarading as "family entertainment." David didn't take to it as readily as I would have expected him to. Good for him.

free association christmas

I've been told that I haven't posted in awhile. I don't know. After a certain length of time, I stop even checking to see when the last post was. Thing is, I don't really have a lot of time to post right now. So I will try to cover the holiday season in a series of short, freely associated thoughts as they come to me. Enjoy:

Nearly peeing his pants he was so anxious to unwrap gifts. Eventually, he would just go to the pile under the tree, touch a present, look at me and say "wait!"

Each gift consumed his whole world. We could have stopped with the first one.

That tube (pictured below) springs like a tightly-wound spring (being composed of a tightly-wound spring, and all). Nevertheless, he was gleefully half-way down it before it was fully extended for the first time.

"Aunt" in Spanish (David's second language) is tia. We tried to teach David to call his aunt Tina, Tia Tina. So she became "Tina Tina!"

Decending the hill on the sled with him laughing and giggling hysterically.

I thought he would not like the spray of snow in the face and the tipping over that inevitably ends all sled rides. But he just laughed harder and squeeled "fall down!"

Switching from "Tia Tina" to Aunt Skylar was a bit difficult, but Skylar played along.

We saw "King Kong." "Masterpiece" is the perfect word.

Nina and Papa got him Leggos. "blocks! Blocks! blocks!"

Enough airplanes and helecopter to compose a small fleet. One airplane is hand-crafted wood and too nice to be an everyday toy.

Hand-crafted, purple, motorcycle, rocker! God bless the American penal system!

Sometime soon, boxing up old toys to make way for new.

Pictures of Colorado follow. I also have some pictures Christmas in Kansas, but fewer. I see these people all the time.

Enjoy.

David on the sled

David on the sled
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

David on the sled

David on the sled
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

Steve David Hildy

Steve David Hildy
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

David pulling the sled

David pulling the sled
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

fall down!

fall down!
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

Tunnel

Tunnel
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

Family

Family
Originally uploaded by jandjgilbert.

I promise, prints (and printably-sized images) will come to Colorado (and Washington) soon!